General Questions
Why do you go by “Sir?”
I looove fucking with gender. I am genderqueer or gender fluid. I sometimes identify as a woman (the gender I was raised as), but I feel like so much more than a woman. Especially when I’m with clients, I often feel very masculine, and it’s one of the things I’ve found people are attracted to about me). I go by SIr because Miss or Mistress just doesn’t let me be fully seen. Sir isn’t about being a “man,” it’s about being the one in charge. And I’m in charge of my own gender identity and, occasionally, other people’s experiences with their own gender.
Questions About BDSM
Are you truly sadistic?
I’ve definitely gotten turned on by causing people pain, especially squeezing someone’s balls. I don’t think anything makes me feel more deliciously sadistic than ball torture.
The thing is, my enjoyment is dependent on yours. Thankfully, I’m not turned on by non-consensual pain. So yes, I’m sadistic when I’m working with a masochist: someone that truly enjoys the pain I cause.
How can you be sadistic and kind at the same time?
Yes, you can totally be cruel and kind at the same time … because that cruelty is requested, controlled, and has a goal (our mutual fulfillment).
If a scene or dynamic doesn’t have an undercurrent of compassion and kindness, then it gets dangerous. I care about all my submissives and clients. This is how I’ve learned to trust myself enough to be in control.
Do you have favorite things you enjoy doing?
Not really, because my enjoyment is very much tied to the connection I have to the person I’m playing with. I love the fact that everyone is unique and wants different things!
I get real excited when folks want to explore something new. For this reason, I get real excited when someone wants a domination scene and I can use my boxing gloves — because it’s usually a new experience to them.
More than any particular activity, I enjoy scenes that feel really unique and personal.
Will you be turned on when we play? What turns you on?
For me, being “turned on” is a hard thing to define or judge. Like am I wet? Or do I feel like fucking or masturbating? Is that what being turned on means? Then, the answer is sometimes, but it comes and goes. And it’s not my goal of any scene. I enjoy dominating folks for many many reasons, not just sexual ones. I take great delight in simply being in control and in fulfilling your kinky/fetish-based desires. This is an emotional, even spiritual, delight.
About Boxing
Do you get turned on when you box?
Not really. I’m usually too focused on not getting hit in the face to care or think about sex or my genitals. I enjoy boxing because it’s intense and challenging.
Why do you offer session boxing, then?
First of all, because I don’t care if YOU are turned on when we box. In fact, I’ll probably enjoy it more if you are!
Now, although I’m not generally turned on by boxing (meaning true sparring), there are plenty of ways to make it more erotic. Especially if you’re submissive and enjoy the feel of the gloves on your skin. Let me be in control, and it becomes a whole different atmosphere.
Have other questions? Email me or submit one anonymously via CuriousCat!