BDSM Gender Play

If you’re exploring your gender, the framework of BDSM can be helpful. Because BDSM is so emotionally intense, there’s much more communication that’s a common part of the process. It’s built around discussing and negotiating boundaries and desires.

If you have a lot of triggers around vanilla sex because of gender issues, then the intimacy of BDSM with more firmly set boundaries can be healing and help you find confidence through new avenues of control.

For instance, pre-scene, we would naturally talk about where on your body you enjoy being touched and what is off-limits, and what names you enjoy being called. When we’re being especially sensitive around the topic go gender, in our negotiation, we’d also include things like what names feel better for specific body parts.

I identify as genderqueer or genderfluid. I feel comfortable with the label of woman, but not complete. Exploring my masculine side through BDSM has enabled me to deepen my understanding of my own gender identity and sexual orientation. For instance, at first putting on a strap-on felt like drag. Now, it doesn’t. It feels more natural, and an extension of my queerness.

While I can’t completely relate to being transgender, I can be a thoughtful companion and guide to ways in which BDSM can fit into your own journey.

If this is something you’re interested in doing, let’s chat. There’s no one right way to go about using BDSM to explore gender. It may involve rituals or any combination of types of play.

BDSM coaching does not need to involve actual play. It can just look like conversations around boundaries, which case my cheaper social rate would apply. And if you are in the process of transitioning or have transitioned and are experiencing financial difficulties because of it, further discounts are available.